Not as long as I have
by Vodka Martini
Summary: My first JAG story...takes place after 20042005 season premier. Naturally it's HarmMac. So cute. Of course...now that they're actually getting married on the show...the point of writing fanfic about them is kinda gone, but whatever.


Disclaimer: I own no more of this show than I do any other show...with the exception of some lovely David James Elliott photographs...

Author's note: I know, I know. I'm totally a MASH girl, but I thought I'd try something new. I've never written anything about JAG, so I'd REALLY appreciate it if ya'll would let me know what ya think. Thanx.

This takes place right after the season premier which was on like 3 days ago, so if ya haven't seen it yet, ya mite be a little confused. You can keep reading if ya want, I'll just give you a little bit of background info:

-Webb is NOT dead. Unfortunately...

-Mac totally shut him down and told him that their relationship was over

-Mac also shut down Harm when he told her he was there if she wanted to talk

Sarah Mackenzie sat on the beach in front of Clay's grandfather's mansion thinking about what she'd just done. She had just basically told the man that she loved that she had had enough of him. She just had one problem. She wasn't sure if it was Harm or Webb. That she loved, that is. She had told that to both of them, although in completely different ways. Webb she had told straight up. She was tired of this relationship. She didn't want to be on the end of all of his secrets. She didn't want to never know what was going on, or where he was. And she definitely didn't want him playing dead on her anymore. Harm, on the other hand...well...she didn't know what exactly she found wrong with him. I mean, sure, he wasn't exactly perfect...but who was? She had been through hell and back this past week, and he had constantly been there for her. How many times had he offered an open ear to listen to her? Or a shoulder for her to lean on? Or cry on? Why was life so complicated? Her and Harm needed to talk about this. Of course, he had tried to do that. She could still see the imprint in the sand where he had been sitting before...was it hours before, or just minutes? It seemed like years. He had asked her if she wanted to talk about it. Why couldn't she just accept his help? She told the whole world that he was her best friend, but she wouldn't let him actually fill that role. She just thanked God that Webb hadn't come down here to try to talk to her. In fact, he'd probably already left. God, how long HAD she been sitting out here? The sun was starting to set over the water, which meant at least a few hours. She sighed, then stood up and picked up her shoes. She walked across the sand toward the huge house, enjoying the feel of the warm sand between her toes. When she reached the grass she stopped and slipped her shoes back on, then walked up to the patio of the house, where she could now see Harm sitting.

"Hey." he said. "Are you about ready to leave?"

"Yeah. Hey, thanks for sticking around. I didn't know I was down there for that long." she said, enjoying the sight of him relaxing in the chair on the deck.

"Well, we couldn't all leave without you. Eventually the office would figure out you were gone, and I'd get blamed. Anyway, I didn't think you and Webb would enjoy the trip back together, so I stuck around."

"When did he leave?" she asked, thinking that would be a good measure of how much time she had spent on the beach.

"Three or four hours ago." he said, standing slowly and grabbing his keys off the table.

"WHAT! I've been down there for that long? Why didn't you came get me?" she asked, following him down off the deck.

"Because you looked like you needed to think about something...and I really don't give a damn when we leave." he said.

"Well...thanks."

"No problem. I'm getting kind of hungry, do you mind if we stop for dinner around here some place?" he asked, opening his car door for her.

"Not at all. In fact, I insist that we do." she said, then blushed as her stomach rumbled it's agreement. They pulled out of the cobblestone driveway, and drove in silence to a nice restaurant in town.

"Harm, I don't know if we're dressed up enough for this place." she said, hesitant.

"Don't worry about it, I've got a tie in the trunk if they get really picky about it." he laughed. The employees of the restaurant were quite the opposite, actually, welcoming them sincerely. They were led to a small table for two on the terrace overlooking the bay. The waiter came up to take their orders, and Mac ordered the Lobster and shrimp combo, and Harm got some great big huge Caesar salad.

"It'll be about half an hour," said the waiter, "If you two would like to go for a walk around outside."

"Thank you," said Harm, standing and offering his hand to Mac. She took it, and the two of them walked down the stairs off the terrace and onto the moonlit path. Harm noticed immediately that she didn't take her hand out of his, and they walked together down to the water and sat on the edge of the dock. They both removed their shoes for the second time that day and let their feet hang into the cool water. Harm wanted to say something, anything, but he decided to let her make the first move. It took her a couple of minutes, but she did it. And she really blew him away with it.

"Harm, we really need to talk about us."

"Whoa."

"What?" she asked, concerned that she'd frightened him off with her direct approach.

"Nothing...nothing. I agree, I just wasn't expecting that." he said, looking at her and smiling. She smiled back, feeling slightly more at ease.

"Well, I mean, we both say that we need to...but we never actually get around to doing it, so I thought that might be a good idea. You know?" she asked, still unsure.

"I know. Where would you like to start?"

"That's a good question. I think we both need to know what we want form each other." she said.

"Agreed. Do you want to start, or shall I?" he asked. She inhaled a deep breath and swallowed.

"I guess since I brought this up, I can start." she said. "Wow. Where do I start...ok. Harm, I'll bring this right out in the open right now. I want you as more than just my friend."

"What kind of more?" he asked, but softly, as though he didn't want to get his own hopes up.

"Every kind of more. I want to try...you know...us."

"Us as in relationship us?" he asked, looking deep into her eyes.

"Yes." she said, meeting his gaze.

"Agreed. But I think we still need to know just exactly what we want and need from each other." he said. "I need you to open up to me, talk to me again!"

"I will. I promise." she said, "And I need you to tell me everything. Don't keep any secrets. Webb did, and I hated it."

"It's a deal." he said, leaning in and gently kissing her lips. She was shocked at first, but she responded and deepened the kiss. "Do you know how long I've wanted to do that?" he breathed, pulling away.

"Not as long as I have." she grinned.

Author's other note: Wow, ok, that kind of sucked. Sorry guys. Oh well, I'll post it anyway. Hope it didn't waste too much of your time. L I'm sticking to MASH.


End file.
